


Aftershocks

by scherryzade



Series: Newcomers [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Gen, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-06
Updated: 2010-04-06
Packaged: 2017-10-08 18:12:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/78185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scherryzade/pseuds/scherryzade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something like M8L-554 doesn't just go away, but the consequences are not always expected.</p><p>(One week after <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/62677?view_full_work=true">the incident on M8L-554</a>)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aftershocks

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to my LJ account on [October 15th, 2009](http://scherryzade.livejournal.com/8034.html)

The first couple of days, they stick together. There's nothing said, it just happens that he finds himself in the mess with the whole team, or in the Marine quarters with Mark, or training in the jumper with the captain, or picking up random bits of Ancient technology in the labs for Dr Gibson.

They get watched a lot, but nobody says anything.

You'd think he'd hear something, but he doesn't even walk in on awkward, obvious silences. Tom thinks he'd be less freaked out if he knew people were talking about him and the others. The silence is just disturbing.

Then he finds himself in the mess alone, and everybody else is still watching.

Mark's in the infirmary getting another check-up. Captain Rodriguez is in a security briefing. Dr Gibson is in the labs, and too caught up in work to leave. Tom knows he could just grab something for them, use that as his excuse for fleeing the mess.

But no-one's going to ask him about it if he leaves, so the only one he'd be fooling is himself.

He just wishes he knew what they were saying about him. About his team - okay, Captain Rodriguez' team, but still, his team. AR-27.

He sits at the far end of the balcony. He's being paranoid, nobody's going to come up behind him, but he doesn't like the feel of their eyes on the back of his neck.

He's so determined not to watch them watching him that he doesn't see Addes until he pulls out the chair opposite Tom and sits down, his face carefully blank.

~

He can't shake the feeling that he's slipped into a parallel universe. Tom on his left, eating like there's a famine coming and laughing at his jokes between mouthfuls. The captain, leaning back in her chair, one foot hooked up beneath her, giving them both a half-smile that's almost indulgent. Nate - Dr Gibson when they're working, Nate in the mess, and after their shift's over - all wide-eyed shock at dirty jokes until he can come up with something worse.

He's still trying to find the words to push them away, but he knows he can't. It still hits him harder than any of Ronon's punches. He knew it when Tom stepped up to Dex, when the captain stopped him getting to his feet, when Nate pulled him away from the fight. He can't.

He can't even walk into the mess without one of them at his side.

He's discovered that it's actually easier to avoid people's eyes if you walk with your head up, walk like you've a specific goal to reach. Nobody looks twice at a soldier following orders - everybody stops to watch if you run scared. So he holds his head up and moves just fast enough that no-one thinks to stop him.

He takes the transporter from the infirmary to the mess, keeps his head up so the first thing he sees when he steps out is Flores.

~

After a week of eating meals together, ignoring the way everybody clears out of their way, a week of talking quietly, calmly, to Dr Dreyfus and making sure her team each goes to their designated shrink, and sitting in security briefings nodding intelligently about plans of action she'll take no part in, and being so, so careful, Anna doesn't expect the next month's duty roster to have no mention of AR-27. They haven't even been given lab detail.

A little itch of inactivity and panic scrapes its way up her spine.

She goes to Major Teldy, who says:

"Don't be stupid about this, Rodriguez."

It occurs to Anna that maybe Teldy's not entirely comfortable being the go-to woman for all the female military in Atlantis. She may be the most senior female officer, but she's too much the Marine to be an empathetic ear. Anna's always appreciated this, because she prefers the pragmatic approach Teldy has to problem-solving.

Right now, however, Anna's freaking the hell out, and she's pretty sure there is no pragmatic solution.

"I need to - I need to prove that I made the right decision."

"Did you?"

"Major..." And that's the thing. She's not sure. If she was, she'd have gone to Sheppard. She wants to be right, but she doesn't _know_.

"Yeah, I didn't think so," says Teldy.

Anna keeps her mouth shut, and counts to ten. When she gets to seven, Teldy sighs, and shakes her head. "You're not going to be cleared for at least another two weeks. Something like M8L-554? Doesn't matter who, or what happened, or why - there's no way you're going out there yet. So you wait. You talk to the doctors, you make sure your team talks to the doctors. You train with your team, and you get ready. And when you're ready, you'll know.

"You get ready, Captain.

"_Then_ you can bitch to Sheppard about going offworld."

~

Flores doesn't look at Mark, staring fixedly at a point somewhere to his left. But he doesn't have that carefully blank expression Mark's been seeing around Atlantis. Flores is still angry, and isn't hiding it. Mark steels himself not to react.

"We're holding a wake," says Flores, biting out the words.

That's not what he's expecting.

He doesn't react, because he doesn't know what to say, and Flores' scowl deepens. "You should come," says Flores. "The sergeant thinks you should come."

Johnson is standing across the hallway, talking to a group of Marines, all turned away from the transporter and, aye, right, completely oblivious to the two of them.

"I -" says Mark, and Flores finally looks him in the eyes. "I will."

Flores nods sharply, and turns on his heel, stalking away in perfect marching form.

"Flores -" Flores stops when Mark says his name, but doesn't turn around. "Thanks"

~

"Is it true you laid out Dex with one punch?"

"Uh-" Tom coughs. "No? I, uh, caught him off guard."

Addes grins. "Man, wish I'd seen that. Fights I've had with Dex? My bruises had bruises."

"That happened too."

"So, what, you're a boxer?"

Tom nods.

"What'd he call you, Wheel? Wheel Wright. Huh. That works. Could see that on a poster. It's Tom, yeah? Tommy 'The Wheel' Wright. Yeah."

Better than 'The Kid', thinks Tom. Not by much, though. Addes doesn't need encouraging, just ploughs ahead. "We had you figured for a football player. Could have done with some new blood in the team. Not that the zoomies put up much of a game, and the rest won't play anything but soccer." He shakes his head.

"I, uh, was never very good at football."

"That's a damn shame." Addes gives him a sorrowful look, then brightens. "Boxing, though, that's good. We need a little variety. The sweet science. What are you, a cruiserweight? Must be at least that."

"Light heavyweight, last time I -" But that was a year and a whole different galaxy ago.

"Rossi's a welterweight. Hey, Rossi!" Addes yells suddenly. "Rossi!" He raises his hand to get Rossi's attention, but no-one in the mess is looking their way, and Tom feels his stomach dropping. Addes just huffs annoyance. "Little fucker's ignoring me. Rossi, you asshole."

"What? I'm tryin' to eat, here."

"We need to work out a fight card. Who've you got who's a cruiserweight?"

"Huh. Yeah, let me think about it. And let me eat, alright?"

"Yeah, whatever." He frowns. "Shame you took out Dex, though. Coulda done with keeping that quiet for a little. The odds will be shorter..."

Addes doesn't miss a beat when Mark slips into the seat next to Tom. He just nods, and after a moment's hesitation Mark nods back. Addes keeps talking, and after a few moments Rossi joins them. They don't look at the bruises on Mark's face, now turning ugly and yellow. They look at Mark.

The talk goes back to football, and the poor showing of the Air Force side at the last game. If he knows Mark at all - and sure, Tom has reason to doubt this, but it's better to think that he does - Mark's itching to wind them up about 'American' football, but he doesn't say anything.

Mark doesn't say anything at all, but Tom can see his mouth twitching into a smile, just a little, and that's something.

Captain Rodriguez enters the mess with Major Teldy, scanning the room until she sees them. She smiles at them, and nods, before sitting at Teldy's table, the other officers shifting to make room for her. Rossi catches Tom watching her, and grins.

"That's gotta be distract-" Rossi breaks off when he realises Tom and Mark are both frowning at him. "Oh-kay, woah, didn't mean anything by that, lotta respect for the captain -" He stops again, muttering a soft "Jeez. What'd I say?"

Addes laughs. "You're an ass, Rossi."

"Hey! It's not like I'm blind. We can't all find an alien slave girl to rescue."

Addes cuffs Rossi. "She's not a slave girl."

"Well, obviously, not _now_. You rescued her. She's so grateful," adds Rossi in a singsong voice.

Tom tries not to laugh as Addes and Rossi scuffle. Mark nudges him. "What?" Mark nods mutely towards Captain Rodriguez' table. The captain's on her feet, one hand to her radio, the other officers looking up at her with concerned confusion. She doesn't look at them - instead, she looks over to Mark and Tom. Tom's on his feet, Mark standing at the same moment, and the captain doesn't need to say a word before they follow her.

~

If it was his choice, he'd stay away from the mess altogether. He doesn't know how the others stand it. His instinct is to hole up in the labs.

Only - in the mess, they can pretend that everyone else is engrossed in their own meals, or too engaged in conversation to interact with them.

It's not as if no-one talks to him in the labs. McKay ignores him, which is fair enough, and kind of a relief. But Radek, and most of the physicists and engineers, still talk to him, even if they look at him with such wary concern that he wants to tell them he's okay, really. He's fine.

But that wouldn't be true, not really.

It's on the periphery that he sees it. It's not as if he can walk around Atlantis without passing people from other departments.

Colonel Sheppard's tacit endorsement of Captain Rodriguez is what keeps the military in line, and that's what keeps the mess so quiet when they're there. McKay's silence, on the other hand -

It's not as if he doesn't understand it. But while they talk, they don't talk to him. They don't bother to ask him why he chose to stand by Collins.

He has no idea what he'd tell them, but it would be enough that they asked.

He's trying to fix an Ancient isotope-scanning machine in the archaeology labs when he discovers the flaw in this theory.

Travers is muttering to Laukinnen, who doesn't reply and looks increasingly uncomfortable, and finally Nate snaps.

"Why don't you just say it out loud?"

She stares at him for a moment, and then says, with slow deliberation, "We were just wondering if it's the captain you're screwing, or the psycho."

It's so spectacularly wrong-headed and _random _that Nate really doesn't know what to say. He shakes his head, trying not to just laugh in her face, and turns back to the machine.

She continues. "I'm inclined to say it's Collins. Little bit of rough, seems just your type."

"Susan..." chides Laukinnen, but she ignores him.

"But really, how can you get off on getting people killed?"

There are so many answers to that, Nate can't choose. And when he tries to say the simplest, a classic McKay "You're an idiot", he can't. He can't speak.

She smirks. "What, you thought people wouldn't wonder why you were so quick to join AR-27?" She spits out the designation with contempt. "After Collins got four people killed?"

She crouches next to him. "You know Peer Cronje was a brilliant man?"

The crystal in his hand slips, shatters on the ground before he can catch it.

"You know how many lives the sergeant saved? You know Veidt had a kid?"

He can't speak. He can't breathe.

"That's enough, Susan." Someone pulls her away from Nate, and she protests. It's Will Morton. Nate hasn't seen him since the infirmary, and he can't hold Will's gaze as he looks down at Nate with a grim face.

"What about that poor girl?" asks Travers.

"Drake. Her name was Ellen Drake and she was a soldier. She was a good soldier who came to Pegasus because that's were she could best do her job. She wasn't a 'poor girl'."

Will crouches beside Nate, and Nate flinches from the hand he holds out.

"Jesus, Travers, what's wrong with you?" Nate can't hear her response, just Will's snapped "You weren't there." Will places his hand more firmly on Nate's arm, pushing him round so his back's against the wall. "Easy, Nate, it's okay. Just breathe, okay?"

~

The room is very quiet, so Anna speaks quietly.

"If you have a problem with a member of my team, you bring it to me."

Dr Travers turns up her nose. "We're not military, captain. We have our own 'chains of command'."

If they were alone, she'd slap the woman. But Anna has Tom at her elbow, radiating concern, and Mark crouched, fists clenched, at Nate's side, so she takes a breath. She can feel her head tipping up, matching Travers' arrogance with anger, and it isn't going to help them if she loses it, so she takes another breath.

There isn't anything she can say to someone who doesn't understand that this really isn't about chains of command.

"What the hell's going on here?"

How screwed up is her life that she's relieved to hear Dr McKay gearing up to launch into a tirade?

Dr McKay scowls at the room, his frown deepening when he sees Nate. "What happened?"

"We were discussing a few issues we have with AR-27. He over-reacted."

"He had a panic attack," says Dr Morton.

"Then maybe he shouldn't be on active duty. Maybe he shouldn't be in Atlantis," says Travers. "After all, you've said yourself that this is no place for someone who can't take the pressure."

"She was baiting him," says Morton, and Anna has to hold herself back. Travers sees this and gives Anna a thin, satisfied smile.

"Captain Rodriguez seems to think she has some sort of authority here."

McKay turns the full force of his glare on Anna, and she returns it. She's damned if she's going to let Travers twist the situation against them. McKay's expression shifts into something akin to curiosity, and then settles into scorn as he turns back to Travers. "Well, obviously. You're not seriously surprised by that when you threatened a member of her team?"

"I'd hardly call it threaten, Dr McKay. And it's hardly appropriate for her to bring _them _into this lab, of all places."

McKay doesn't bother to look at Tom and Mark. "They've been on lab detail for months, Travers."

"I rather think the situation has changed."

"Really? So the fact that they're here, and not locked in the brig, means nothing to you?"

"Oh, come on, McKay, nobody in the labs thinks they should still be in Atlantis. Sheppard is protecting his own. Are we supposed to kowtow to the military?"

"Did you forget the part where this galaxy is trying to kill us?"

"Don't be absurd, McKay. And besides, all that means is that the military are here to protect us."

"Yes! Exactly! So when they say 'duck', you duck, when they say 'run', you run, and when they say a soldier is fit for duty, you believe them. Are you questioning Colonel Sheppard's judgement?"

"You question his judgement all the time."

"Yes, because I am very much smarter than he is, and I know Pegasus. You, on the other hand, are an idiot with a basket weaving fixation, and you are in no position to question the decisions of the military commander of Atlantis."

"Don't try to tell me you like this any better than we do. It's perfectly clear that you don't approve. You're the CSO of Atlantis, you could have all of them sent back to Earth."

"I could send you, too, Travers, but against all appearances you're good at your job. Colonel Sheppard tells me Rodriguez is good at her job, I believe him. He trusts her, I trust his judgement. And if that extends to Collins and Wright, then so be it. Are you questioning _my_ judgement?"

"Does it mean nothing to you that they got four people killed?"

There's a pause. Anna expects an outburst from McKay, who's been growing steadily more enraged, but instead his voice is icily cold. "Do you know how many people we've lost out here?"

Travers doesn't reply.

"I've lost 37 scientists in six years. John - Sheppard has lost five times that number from the military, and that doesn't count those lost to the Daedalus and the Apollo in battle. Do you want to know how many people Teyla has lost? Or Ronon? This galaxy isn't just trying to kill us in new and exciting ways, it is trying to wipe. us. out.

"Believe me, Travers, I know exactly what the cost of coming to Pegasus is. And I know when I can trust the judgement of the man who's kept me alive for six years against stupid, stupid odds. If John Sheppard tells me Captain Rodriguez can be trusted, I believe him."

"And Gibson?" Travers' voice is rather weaker than before.

"You have a problem with a team member, take it to the team leader. That's how it works. But I'll tell you now, I already know Gibson can do his job. I'd rather send you back than him."

~

Anna forces herself not to pace the infirmary as Dr Keller fusses around Nate.

Nate is pale and shaky, but he throws Anna a weak smile when he catches her watching from across the room.

Mark apparently finds the infirmary floor fascinating, but he looks up and rolls his eyes when Tom jogs his elbow and whispers something in his ear.

Tom hides it well, but she can tell he's relieved to get any reaction at all.

They're not ready, Anna realises. Not by a long way. But she knows she made the right decision.


End file.
